Wreaths or other graveside arrangements should be sent to the funeral home. Texting durng the wake can seem disrespectful. Funerals also are held in places that hold special meaning for the deceased. This is considered to be a way to honor the deceased person and to get closure. Similarities include dress code, a somber disposition, and silencing your cell phone. The wake. Visitors approach the body to pay their respects and say goodbye. LinkedIn. Brightening the mood of the deceased's family with positive stories is a great way to spend that time, but every wake is a unique, personalized experience. Facebook. Men could wear slacks and a button-down shirt or even khakis and a polo. But funeral feasts were referenced in works as early as The Iliad. As long as you have paid your respects to the family, it is acceptable to leave at any time. Still unsure? Still unsure? But you don’t have to wear a skirt or dress. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Pallbearers carry the casket during a funeral. It’s also taking away from the time you’ve devoted to spend with friends and family that you might not otherwise see very often. When you arrive, first offer your sympathy to the grieving family. However, there are a few universal customs you can depend on. The primary purpose of a wake is to offer comfort to the family members. Sending flowers in advance allows funeral home staff to ensure they get to the right location. Next, while wakes may have entered the modern era. Dark pants with a polo shirt is also a good choice. Sending flowers in advance allows funeral home staff to ensure they get to the right location. Whether it be a funeral or a wake, etiquette dictates that this is one occasion where you do NOT want to arrive fashionably late. There’s no need to dress entirely in black. Non-Jewish funerals: Wake/viewing is held at a funeral home, typically the evening before the funeral. But there are some definite things you should avoid as a general rule. However, you can also settle in and stay longer. A wake and a viewing are similar in that they both allow mourners to express their grief, share their experiences with … Understand the difference between key types of funeral services. This is often associated with the traditional Irish wake in particular, which was a celebration of the person’s life and their passing on to the afterlife. Some religions such as Orthodox Judaism do not find sending flowers appropriate. The etiquette can be different depending if you're attending a funeral or a wake. See more ideas about funeral etiquette, funeral, eulogy. Create a free Cake profile to get started. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Focus instead on expressing your condolences to the family and know that you can get closure in the way that works best for you. An edible gift (think fruit baskets, sandwich plates or baked goods) is always a good thing to bring to a wake, especially if it’s held in a private home. The anxiety could be from uncertainty about proper funeral etiquette. They can also be held at a funeral home and usually immediately precede the funeral ceremony. However, this is not always possible for young children, who grow quickly and may not have access to dressy clothes. The wake may be held in someone’s home or at the funeral parlor. If you have difficulty answering the … Just stay quiet and respectful while these traditions are observed. Funeral clothing should also be black or an otherwise dark, muted color. You don’t have to wear all black, but stick to neutral, muted colors and avoid prints and patterns. This means clothing with a conservative cut that isn’t too tight and doesn’t reveal too much skin. If you learn about the wake through an obituary or online announcement, you can usually assume a wake at a funeral home is open for anyone to stop in. It’s less important to adhere to a strict dress code than it is to wear clothes that are clean, neat and presentable. And how should we behave? One caveat: try to make sure you’re there at least a half hour before the wake is scheduled to end. The hope is that this interaction brings a sense of closure to mourners who may otherwise be in denial. Avoid casual hats or clothing with words on it. However, it is perfectly acceptable to leave immediately after paying your respects to the family. There can be a closed casket or an urn at a wake as well. Where to hold the funeral: Traditional choices include a funeral chapel or a place of worship. During the Funeral The Chinese funeral involves a lot of rites which have to be completed properly. However, you can always have flowers sent ahead of time to the funeral home. If there is going to be an open casket, be sure to explain to your child ahead of time so he/she knows what to expect. Tell the child that it’s fine to touch a loved one’s body if they want to, but don’t make them feel that they must do so if they’re uncomfortable with it. If you have been invited to attend or participate in a wake, you may be curious about what you can expect, especially if you have never attended one before. Some wakes are almost indistinguishable from viewings or visitations. Don’t bring them with you — you don’t want to place undue stress on the family of the deceased. If you send a quick text message offering to bring by some food or a card for the family, you may find yourself on the receiving end of an invitation. We also offer funeral pre-planning and carry a wide selection of caskets, vaults, urns and burial containers. If you’ve never attended a wake before, check out some of these basic etiquette tips. Versions of wakes exist in several different faiths. The examples and perspective in this article may not represent a worldwide view of the subject. You can make a brief appearance for 10 or 15 minutes if you just want to drop off food or a card and offer your condolences if the wake is at a private home. The community and culture of the place you live also make a difference to the personalization of this unique ritual. This type of wake is often held in the home of the deceased, with the body present, and friends and family are invited. Wear a belt and avoid flashy or excessive jewelry. Send your end-of-life preferences—including your cremation, burial, and funeral choices—with your loved ones. Where to sit at a funeral. A pair of dress pants with a dressy top is perfectly acceptable. The exception would be if the family asks you to take a group photo and explicitly encourages you to post it online. When attending a funeral wake, do dress appropriately. Laughter and tears can (and should!) What you should bring is dependent on the location. Wakes tend to require less formal clothing than other traditional rituals, like funerals. If you’re planning to attend a wake, you may be wondering what you’re in for. Even a seemingly kind remark like, “Call me if you need anything” puts the burden of reaching out on the family, pressuring them to think of ways that others can help. Bring edible gifts like casseroles, sandwiches, baked goods, or fruit baskets so the family doesn’t have to worry about food. For example, it would be very unusual for a body to be present in a private home. However, if you have a practical gift, especially if it’s a casserole for the family or appetizers that people can munch on during the event, this will usually be welcome at a wake. Yes, I have … to a grieving family. If you don’t share a faith with the deceased and their family, don’t feel pressured to participate in any prayer or sacrament that doesn’t feel right to you. 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